Conversations I've had in my head while visiting my midwife:
10. Long purple hair is inappropriate past the age of 30, and especially past 50.
9. Having seven children does not necessarily make you an expert on other people's children, especially if you were a weird parent.
8. In the same vein, having 12 cats also does not make you an expert on parenting. It just makes you lonely and very CCL (crazy cat lady).
7. Even I know it's called a fetal doppler. Not a "thingy so that you can hear the heartbeat".
6. Ok. Birkenstocks are totally acceptable. Scares me a little that I have the same pair. But to qualify that point, I do NOT wear them with striped socks and red pants.
5. "Free spirit" does necessarily mean you need to free yourself from the rigors of daily hygiene.
4. On the contrary, paper work IS sort of important. I know it's a bane of corporate America and all, but gees, I would kind of like my insurance to pay for this whole thing.
3. If you truly feel the Native Americans had the right idea about childbirth and child rearing, why aren't I having my baby in a teepee? (Or maybe I am and she just hasn't broken that news yet?!?)
2. "Midwives are the hallmark of normal births." I'm sorry, but there's nothing normal about this.
1. Though I love cats, cat hair is unsanitary and should not be coating every stitch of your clothing. You are in the medical profession. I'm pretty sure my child will have a hairball upon delivery.
Despite all this, I think I'm going to keep her. At least it'll make this whole thing a little more interesting and I can count on a good, funny story every four weeks when I see her. Plus, I sort of have a special place in my heart for quirky people.
2 comments:
Okay--I'm going to have to show this post to Shawn. He'll laugh. What is it with midwives and way too many cats??
And--you'll have to let me know who this is. I like to keep tabs on the 'quirky' medical professionals in the area, and I'm pretty sure I haven't met this one yet.
--val
you're in rockford now right? just wondering because i had great midwives in chicago...but you're probably too far. p.s. this is rachel reinders, i saw your blog listed on val's. you can check out mine if you want...i think i have some photos of those tomatoes which i am now dealing with :)
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